The Hidden Agenda

g***PLEAE NO ONE TAKE THIS PERSONALLY, I HAVE HAD AMAZING HELP THROUGH EVERYTHING BUT ALSO EXPERIENCES THINGS THAT SURPRISED ME AND FELT OBLIGATED TO WRITE ABOUT IT***

When I was twenty five my life changed. After years of independence I had to learn to depend on others. The main thing I have learned since then is that you can’t depend on anyone but yourself. I have had plenty of wonderful experiences with people loving me and expecting nothing in return. People who genuinely want to help me and Madisyn. But for the most part I have learned that when someone helps you they expect double in return. From you. In a perfect world people would realize that when you help one person God will bless you in return, not from that one person specifically but in ways you never expect. Maybe God will bless you by a complete stranger. Maybe God will bless you by sending you an extra angel who watches over you and your family. But God has a plan and in due time he sees his promises through. What I have come to realize that no help comes for free and you can say thank you until you are blue in the face but it is never enough and people want more from you. It doesn’t matter how they have helped you, they are taking notes. Even when they don’t realize it they have a notebook sheet in their heads with your name on top and every good deed they have done for you and whether or not they feel they have been paid back is taken note. It’s a sad day when you realize that they have all been keeping track. It doesn’t matter the years of volunteerism you put forth in the relationship you had with them before you needed their help, when you helped them without taking note. When you helped them out of the goodness of your heart because that’s what friends do and that’s what you feel God has led you to do at that moment in time. Then one day you need help and everything changes. All of a sudden you can’t be the person you used to be and you need their help. Some will come out the woodworks to help you, lots at first. Some will come, some will go. Some can’t handle the help you need whereas some stick in there because they love you but then some stay because they are keeping track. They are waiting to cash in on the “credit” they have with you. What appears to be God putting His hand in your life could very well be the devil in disguise. I don’t have any way to tell the difference, its hard. Sometimes things can seem so God related, God given and it takes awhile for you to find out the real reason behind others agenda’s. Why can’t people give with a giving heart? What are your experiences with people giving? Has it been common for some to have a “hidden agenda”? Even being sick, do some people expect so much from you that you can’t function from overload? Please share….