Six weeks at a time

Hey to All,

So it is Christmastime again.  I was not really looking forward to Christmas this year.  Well, I did start buying Christmas in October and was finished by December pretty much except for Madisyn.  But still, I was gloomy and grouchy when it came to the thought of Christmas. 

Why?  Well I was supposed to start a new chemotherapy drug December 13th.  A pretty harsh drug that was going to kick my butt.  And the very last of treatments available to me through the FDA.  I was hopeful and realistic at the same time.  There is a very real possibility that this will be my last Christmas.  I know, I have thought that every year for a while but with the way the cancer is spreading now, it is realistic.  If treatment didn't work I would be left to just let the cancer grow.  Not a happy Christmas thought.

All that changed on December 7th when I got an email from the Phase One Research Trial doctor.  They had found a trial that I qualified for.  I would need to return as soon as possible to sign the paperwork and get pre testing done.  I was scheduled for surgery December 8th and had appointments all the following week locally so December 21st and 22nd it would have to be.  My surgery went fine by the way, had a snag that Saturday where the site started bleeding and it required me to have an ER visit to make sure the bleeding clotted and re bandage the site sterilely. 

Exciting right?  Only thing is the trial is over a period of six weeks.  I will be staying in Houston for six weeks as of Jan 2nd.  I am leaving my daughter for six weeks.  At first we cried, boo hoo-ed, and hugged it out, then we put our big girl panties on and started dealing with it.  I will be able to come home some weekends, we will FaceTime, and friends have offered to come visit and bring her with them.  The outpouring of love and support during this time has been amazing.  I am so thankful to have all of you in my life and wouldn't change it for a thing.  Thanks for being you, all of you.

So we got back last night from Houston after a couple days of testing.  From what I understand, I passed all the testing and will be starting for sure Jan 3rd.  It requires a two night stay in the hospital at M.D. Anderson's, at least, for the first treatment, and after that it is outpatient but a 10 hour day.  Simple price to pay for my life.  If the treatment keeps me stable I will be on another six week, weekly treatment schedule.  I want it to work but have mixed feelings about being in Houston so long.  We do what we gotta do right?

So keep me in your prayers.  I will post on here the address where I will be staying once I get permission from my brother and sister in law.  Just in case any one wants it. 

So I am nervous as fuck.  That sums it up in a nutshell.  I will keep you posted, I will have plenty of time to blog in the hospital during treatments, I am sure.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Love,

Shannon