How Many Young Breast Cancer Survivors Are Out There?

Hey to All!  This post is different.  I want to see how many young breast cancer survivors we have out there, sooo,  under this post comment with your name and what year you were diagnosed and how old you were/are and where you are from.  My name is Shannon.  I was 25 when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer and have been battling metastatic breast cancer since 2006 and I live in Baton Rouge, LA.  How about you?

Garage Sale This Saturday and maybe Friday!

Hey To All!

Well I am doing it again.  Making the huge mistake of taking on a garage sale.  Well, this house needs some emptying and I need some money.  You guys remember how I got cancer two weeks after I got married?  Well I have this credit card I need to pay off still....my wedding credit card.  I am still paying on a marriage that lasted eight months and it is almost six years later.  Remember how I also got cancer two months after I finished school?  Well I have to pay that loan too.  I also have hundreds of thousands in medical bills but those I just laugh at and know that one day God will help me.  I also have the $200,000 paid up front stem cell transplant that is not covered by insurance in breast cancer patients because it is considered "experimental" I need to get but again that is one I am putting in God's hand.  If I am meant to have the procedure, the money will come.  At this point it is the only road left to treat my cancer and they have to do it while my cancer is stable.  My cancer is stable but I certainly do not have a money tree and I do not pee gold, so like I said, it is up to God.  I trust Him inexplicably and I know He will lead me where I need to be.

Sometimes I sit around and wonder what normal people stress about.  I wonder what it is like to not have to make life and death decisions almost montly and I wonder what my life would be like had I not been given this road to take.  In some ways I love this road.  I absolutely love that I get to bring my daughter to school everyday, I get to pick her up from school everyday, and I get to do her homework with her at night.  My house may not be as clean as I want it to be but I understand that after five years of chemo what can I possible be expecting from myself.  I understand that I put alot of pressure on myself to be the best of the best in every road I take and this road has made it really hard to do just that.  Being the best of the best drive drove away some time ago.  I have more lust for life at this point and enjoy just being me.  I love that I have friends that love me and I love them.  I have family that is there when I need them even when I am at my worst.  These days I seem to think clearer (some times), love deeper, smile more, I am stronger..I stick up for myself when needed, I have learned to say no (almost to much) and I have learned that my impulsiveness has so many positive qualities included with it.  Some in my life kind of hate that about me but really it is one of my favorite qualities.  Call me and say meet me ____ and I will be there.  I love the thrill of "I didn't plan for this but what the heck".

It has been hard and without HPC I don't know where I would be.  One thing for sure is God has His hands around me and leads me where I need to be.  His angels surround me and in my times of trial they make their presence known.  This summer I will be having two different surgeries.  One surgery is part two of my breast reconstruction.  It is not a super hard surgery but mine will be a little more recovery then normal because they will be doing a skin graft.  They will be taking skin from my back and replacing the burnt unhealthy skin on the left side of my chest so my reconstructed breasts will stay healthy.  Plus sometime this summer I will be receiving a hysterectomy.  I know I talked about it in one of my last blogs so I won't go into it.  After 13 surgeries in 5 years it's weird that I find myself nervous about these to procedures.  Maybe because this is the longest between surgeries I have ever  had or maybe I just don't want my summer to go down the drain again, plus the last thing I want to happen is my workout schedule to be compromised.  It always seems to go down like this...I start working out...suddenly surgery, randiation, or chemo messes me up and I never go back so hopefully for these I will be back to working out in no time...at least that is what I hope for.

Well, that is all I can type for now.  it is two o'clock in the afternoon and I am falling asleep typing this so talk to you soon!

IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DONATE TO THE GARAGE SALE CALL ME! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!! 
225-323-4646 


GARAGE SALE
15708 MALVERN HILL
BATON ROUGE, LA 70817
DONATIONS CAN BE PICKED UP BY ME OR DROPPED OFF TO THE GARAGE SALE LOCATION:  HOME OF LIZ RADLE PERRAULT
IN SHENANDOAH NEIGHBORHOOD
IF YOU WANT TO COME AND HELP OUT WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO!
PROCEEDS BENEFIT (ME) SHANNON MCALISTER BRIDGES

New News

Hey Everyone,

Oh my goodness, the past few days have been rough.  I finally woke up refreshed (well as refreshed as I get) on Friday and ready to tackle rearranging Madisyn's room with her new futon bed that her dad got her for her birthday.  I had to run a few errands and while I'm sitting in the church parking lot (my last errand was there) I get "the" phone call.

"Mrs. Bridges?"
"Yes this is Shannon"
"Hi, this is (insert my doctors name here) from Houston, your oncologist.  We got the results of your MRI of your chest back and it doesn't look good.  There is much more involvement then we originally thought.  There is no way Dr. (insert my surgeons name here)will be able to remove all of this, we are going to have to cancel the surgery.  I know this is what you really wanted to do but there will be no benefit to performing the surgery when she will have to leave so much cancer in you still.  With your history the best thing for us to do is to have you remain on the Tykerb (a maintenance drug that targets only the cancer cells and not the good cells.  I take this medicine daily, 4 pills a day), start you on Lupron (a hormone therapy in the form of a shot that works by telling the pituitary gland located in the brain to stop producing the hormone that stimulates the ovaries to release estrogen), and eventually start you on an Aromatase Inhibitor (Aromatase inhibitors work by blocking the enzyme aromatase, which turns the hormone androgen into small amounts of estrogen in the body. This means that less estrogen is available to stimulate the growth of hormone-receptor-positive breast cancer cells).  I am so sorry Shannon, I know how much you wanted this, I wish there were some way we could do this but it is just not reasonable.  We will see you back here in November and at that time do a full work up on you."


I could here the tears in her voice.  She really knew how much it meant to me to have this operation.  She really understood the Hope I had been leaning on.  I almost felt as though I was comforting her at first.  Assuring her I was okay and I understood why this had to, or should I say, would not happen.  I gave her a choked but cherry good bye and hung up the phone.  Only at that moment did I fully realize the extent of the conversation I had just had.  Even after five years of chemotherapy I had always had Hope that the cancer would be taken out and one day I would be moving forward.  All those dreams of life without cancer were crashed with one phone call.  All the joy for the day vanished.  A deep sickening feeling replaced it.  My body now felt like it was made with lead.    I managed to drive home and crawl inside, blindly turn on the tv, unaware of what I was watching, and just let the tears fall unconsciously.  Madisyn walked in from school moments later talking about redecorating her room. I nodded and mumbled something about laying down in bed and made my way down the hall and passed out.  Gone were the plans of cleaning out Madisyn's room, gone were the plans to bring everything to my moms for the garage sale she was holding the following morning, gone was anything but sleep.  


I made myself get out of bed Saturday morning and head to my moms garage sale.  I maybe sat outside for forty five minutes total when I went inside to lay down.  Then made up some excuse to go home and lay down.  Ignored phone calls after phone calls, emails after emails, and any other form of communication.  There weren't necessarily thoughts going through my head at all, which was weird.  It was like everything inside me had died.  My awesome friend Liz came over with two of her little girls Saturday after I offered her dinner but I proceded to allow her fumble around in my crack house looking kitchen and cook the supper.  I wasn't much company and my house is anything but child friendly, but she didn't care.  When I say awesome, Liz is awesome.  For the most part I unconsciously stuffed my face.  When they left I promptly passed out.  


Sunday came around and I forced myself out of bed and to church.  We were 30 minutes late but we made it.  Pastor Dino preached and I wrote.  I wrote and wrote and wrote.  Just recently I started journaling.  I just write.  Whatever is going through my head, whether it makes sense or not, I write it.  During church Sunday, I wrote to myself that I needed to enjoy everyday that I do have.  I realized (for the millionth tiime in the past five years) how lucky I am to still be here with my baby when five years ago I never dreamed I would still be here with her to celebrate her 10th birthday with her.  I never dreamed I would see her go to her first day in the fifth grade.  I never dreamed I would see thirty.  So I told myself to scrape myself off of the ground and pick up the pieces and move on, or well forward.  Yes, cancer will always be here.  I won't ever need to read any "Life after cancer" books.  I will just have to always have to find a way to move forward.  To continue to climb my mountains without giving up.  


The thought to get up and run, well drive, is there but how do you run away from yourself?  No matter where I go, the cancer will still be there, with me.  I can run as far away as I want but it will get me absolutely no where.  That is when my feelings sink deeper.  Running is not an option.  Not that I make a habit of running when things get tough but sometimes just the thought makes you feel better.  But my imagination knows better.  


So Monday I didn't wake up bouncing and back to happy happy joy joy like I wanted.  Madisyn was sick so she stayed home and we literally laid around all day being miserable, but it was such a fun miserable.  We just enjoyed each others company.  I fell asleep by 3:30 that afternoon.  My baby made us some Ramon noodles for dinner and turned off all the lights and put her momma to bed.  Aside from waking up to eat dinner, and to take medicine twice, I slept until 6:00 the next morning.  


Tuesday and today have gone much better and I'm hoping it stays that way.  I was started on my Lupron today during my local oncologists appointment.  I cried when talking to my doctor about the canceled surgery, my doctor teared up with me but even she said there was no way to do the surgery.  I've got to say it has felt really good to have such a wonderful team on my side.  My doctors are more then I could ever ask for.  Even my oncologist in Houston who I have only known for not even a year is like another one of the girls with me.  They all understand and want more then anything for me to have a miracle.  I am so lucky.  


Today I am refreshed with an understanding that God is taking care of me.  I don't know His Plan and probably never will but He does and that's all that matters.

Well until next time....Shannon

Oh me o my

So, its been a pretty uneventful couple of weeks.  I had chemo and slept for a week, then got stood up for a date I had, and my bloodwork came back as something being active in my liver and bones....well kind of uneventful.  I won't find out until I go back to Texas at the beginning of February if that bloodwork result actually means anything. 

So that brings me to the normal flow of my life.  The Xeloda makes me so exhausted all the time.  I have a couple days where I feel ok but for the most part if I do anything I have to take a five hour nap after.  I have started to loose my hair again.  I almost look like I have a mohawk...ok..I look like I have a mohawk...there is no almost about it.  It is so awful..lol.  I have parts of my head that are flowing with hair (mainly the back) and parts that have no hair.  I haven't decided if I shave it or not.  Most probably the clippers will come out.  I look better buzz cut then with this retarded mohawk.  I look ridiculous.  I wear my wig at all times now..lol.  My ex is going to come buzz cut it tomorrow, I will post pics. 

On a positive note, I've lost a good 7 inches in my waist.  Yay me!  Maybe it has a little to do with the fact that everything taste likes cardboard and if I manage to get it down it will then procede to come right back out....not all the time so don't be worried..but often enough I guess lol.  I am loving the way I look now so it has helped tremendously with my self esteem.  Some of you may think I am nuts for even being excited about the weight loss, but hey, the 80 pounds cancer gave me had to let up sometime.  It's just plain rude that with all the crud I've had to go through that I had to blow up like a balloon so people didn't even know who I was when I saw them.   Now try that on to your self esteem...how would that make you feel? 

Did I tell you guys that I finally found a wig that I absolutey love?  It came from the Greater Baton Rouge Flea Market on Airline Hwy going towards Gonzales.  This awesome lady opened up this shop with wigs because her mom had cancer.  The wig was only $35!  It looks so much better then my several hundred dollar wig that I got when I first got cancer.  I wore that wig twice maybe.  People complement me on my hair all the time...you should see their faces when I tell them they can get their own hair like this at the flea market for $35...lol.  Yes I do say that.  http://www.fleamarketoflouisiana.com/

So, sometime last year my doctor wrote me a prescription to no longer watch anyone's kids but my own.  To rest and take care of myself.  It is still on my fridge, just as a reminder.   Well, the other day she wrote me a prescription to stay awake more often, get out the house, and to do something.  It is now on my fridge right next to my other prescription.  The latter prescription is a slight contradiction compared to the other one.  I wonder if she realizes that...lol.  Don't worry I will point it out when I go on Friday. 

Today is a better day then most days, thank God!  I appreciate this day so much, because I know today I start chemo and this whole week will be a blur and I won't have any recollection of this day or any other day this week by Sunday.  It sucks.  Sometimes I can make myself get out the house during chemo week, only if whoever wants me to come with them comes over, gets me dressed, well makes me get dressed, and drags me out of the house.  If I stay on top of my medicine I can manage to get around, stay awake, and look half way decent.  Don't ask me to remember anything that happens though or you will be very disappointed.  Sorry I can't help it.  Its just something the people I love half to get used to and most of them have, not all.  Some hold it against me, and I understand that they have no idea how my life goes and how I feel, and how my life really is because when they see me I put on a happy face for them.  You would think me passing out in five minute intervals would clue them in but like I said, sometimes people just don't understand.  No matter what is said about me to my face or behind my back I still love all of them and when they are willing to understand I will be here.  The chemo messes with my memory, my attitude, my consciousness, and so much more.  Its not just the chemo, its the amount of chemo I have received in the past four years.  Most of it being in the past 14 months.  If you ask a first time cancer patient about how they feel during chemo they will tell you how they made it through it, but it was hard.  Ask them to imagine continuing the treatment for four years and then 14 months of hard chemo in a row, they would be horrified.  I promise.  I would have been if I had known after the first time I had chemo that I would still be doing this after four years.  I would have not been able to comprehend it.  I make my way through every day the best that I can.  Some days worse then others. 

So enough of that noise.  Like I said today is a good day and thats all I need to focus on.  I am so lucky to be here after all these years.  This June is my 5 year cancerversary.  A milestone in the cancer world.  A day that is a miracle in my world.  I am so blessed to have all the love and support  from all of you.  All of you have been my angel at some point or another.  Thank you.

Christmas was absolutely amazing.  Madisyn had one of the best Christmas's ever.  Thanks to all of you.  I didn't have to spend a dime.  Fortunately, because I was sick and never left the house anyways.  Plus money is an issue.  After bills and food...well food for the first week or two...there is nothing left.  We stay happy and fed though.  Some wonderful friends bring us food plus some even strangers bring us food from our church...they aren't strangers anymore of course...I love all of you!  One girl from our church bought both me and Madisyn new bedding...the best bedding in the world....no need to get out of bed anymore...lol. 

Well I talked your ear off so I will stop now....every one check out the Amazon search box on my page....go shopping!  Love you all!
Shannon